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Post by Tringa on Feb 27, 2018 13:13:25 GMT
My wife says I have only two faults - I don't listen and something else she was going on about.
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Feb 27, 2018 13:29:04 GMT
The French eat a lot of fat and are are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Italians drink a lot of wine and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
Conclusion: if you want to stay healthy don't speak English.
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Feb 27, 2018 18:47:31 GMT
It has just been discovered that "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens was first serialized in two local newspapers.
They were the Bicester Times and the Worcester Times.
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Mar 1, 2018 14:43:30 GMT
Given the current weather I decided to follow the advice from the motoring organisations for anyone travelling in icy and snowy conditions - take a blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing (including scarf, hat and gloves), 24hr supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, have your phone fully charged, first aid kit and jump leads
It is excellent advice but must admit I felt a bit of a berk on the bus this morning.
Dave
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Post by ianr on Mar 2, 2018 7:52:15 GMT
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Post by Tringa on Mar 2, 2018 13:13:13 GMT
Yesterday I was asked where I wanted my life to be in two years time. How can I know? I haven't got 2020 vision.
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Mar 7, 2018 15:19:26 GMT
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Post by Tringa on Mar 17, 2018 21:00:12 GMT
Research has found that those who have their coffee black are likely to have psychopathic tendencies and that those who order half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot, split quad shots, no foam latte, with whip are likely to be their victims.
Dave
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Post by rowanberry on Mar 17, 2018 22:16:47 GMT
That is excellent! I love how they all sat there so well-behaved, too... but those poor pugs never had a hope!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2018 10:48:27 GMT
For the past 3 days i've woken up covered in sponge, jelly, custard, cream and topped in 100s and thousands.......im starting to think someone's trifling with me in my sleep.
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Post by Tringa on Mar 18, 2018 20:07:48 GMT
That is excellent! I love how they all sat there so well-behaved, too... but those poor pugs never had a hope! Yes, it tends to reinforce the idea that labradors are greedy Dave
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Post by Tringa on Mar 22, 2018 11:17:40 GMT
Notice on the entrance to a lido -
"Welcome to our OOL. Please notice there is no 'P' in it. Let's keep it that way."
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Mar 22, 2018 11:29:30 GMT
Boss: "This is the third time you have been late for work this week. You know what this means, don't you? Me : "It's Wednesday"
Dave
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Post by Tringa on Mar 23, 2018 10:40:36 GMT
Liked this one - Dave
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Post by rowanberry on Apr 1, 2018 20:51:35 GMT
Dave, that is great. I remember when I was a smug uni student, telling my Mum I preferred horses to babies.... because I could put my three-year old gelding in his stable, give him a bucket of water and a few flakes of hay and say 'See you tomorrow!' and go to the pub. If I did that with a toddler, I'd be done for child abuse. Dogs and horses, any day! Snowlynx thought this one up all by himself today... (probably inspired by what's going on out in the pond at the moment). What do you call a depressed frog? Dis-spawn-dent.
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